I Set Myself on Fire to Keep Others Warm
A powerful reflection on self-sacrifice, boundaries, and reclaiming your worth.
Recognizing the Pattern
I've noticed a pattern.
- In my work.
- In my friendships.
- In my family.
- In my relationships.
I set myself on fire to keep other people warm.
The Default Setting
Not occasionally. Not by accident. But as a default. I give my time, my energy, my creativity, my strength, and my problem-solving instinct to people who would not bring me a glass of water if I asked.
Not Weakness
It's not because I'm weak.
Not Ignorance
It's not because I'm unaware.
My Nature
It's because I am wired to build. Wired to fix. Wired to pour into others.
The Hidden Cost
But here's the question I've started asking:
At what cost?Because while I'm holding things together, while I'm delivering results, showing up, calming storms, and getting things done, I've often been left burned out, overlooked, and quietly carrying the weight of everyone else's comfort.
Unmet Expectations
Not Seeking Praise
Not because I wanted applause.
Expecting Balance
But because I expected reciprocity.
Hoping for Recognition
Because I thought someone, somewhere, would notice.
They didn't.
Drawing the Line
This is not a pity post.
This is a line in the sand.
I'm not available for one-sided relationships.
I'm not giving more energy than I receive.
I'm not minimizing myself so others can feel taller.
And I am not setting myself on fire to prove my worth.
If you're reading this and it feels familiar, I want you to know you're not broken.
You're just tired of over-functioning in environments that are happy to under-appreciate you.
The shift starts here.
Protecting Our Fire
1
We protect our fire.
2
We give it to people who value it.
3
We use it to build, not to burn ourselves out.
4
Because this time, we're choosing ourselves.
If this blog made you pause, reflect, or whisper "that's me," you're not alone. You're not broken. You're just finally aware of your worth.